A Tribute to Maureen Kinyua

TRIBUTE Maureen Kinyua  #RuguruMourns.
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Maureen Kinyua aka Nyarari. Confirmed. Reports reaching my desk is you escaped the mortal realm on Friday, May 24, 2019. Leaving behind “Ngogoyo ni itate-nikanjoyaaa” and “The Tumbukiza!” Who does that?? The meat industry, for which you were an unofficial spokeswoman until dietary restrictions forced you to eat real food will miss you. Facebook says you are only 23! I can’t believe you have done all you did in the first quarter of this century only! Glad you had Huduma Number which can corroborate this claim.
 
The memories you are taking with you are so precious and have more value than all the Sheikh-Wetangulam gold. From the thrill of trouncing Wa-Maranga to spreading Murram at the Royal Gatunai suburb roads and having an exquisite view of the virgin #GatunaiGreens! The party made a wise decision of keeping a close eye on you ile Kichapo Maendeleo Chap Chap uliipatia…For you, it was to be Jubilee and It could have been no other way.
 
We apologized to each other for any remarks we made during the campaigns before the “Handshakemania” – it was indeed a humiliating defeat! By extending the olive branch we were able to rise above our shame and work together. And Just when I thought I was too old to fall in love again, I became a fan of Kanda ya wira. I have written a note of farewell on a Guarana can and drinking it in your honor.
 
I want you to know that I owe you a beer, and if i find you in Heaven- that is if I manage it too, I know you will gladly buy me another. I guess I will likely find you forwarding tasteless Kieleweke jokes in WhatsApp (check your inbox guys but don’t open her forwards with the volume up).
 
They’re treasures that are irreplaceable and will go with you wherever your journey takes you. You were a devoted and energetic Woman, a comforter, loyal and committed to the things you liked with an audacity to voice the things you loathed (insert Kameko fupi round na kieleweke). You never held back your opinion and famous you are for a knack for telling it like it is even if it wasn’t what we wanted to hear. Oh wait, were you Tanga Tanga or KieleTanga? Ndikwenda mehemehe.. what is mehemehe? I’m afraid it’s too late for questions. Sorry.
 
So … you were born; in a blink; and it is over. You did your best, never stopped smiling, followed your arrow and made something amazing out of your life. We are not planning to name any building in Kiamariga after you or erect any monument in your honor. You used your opportunity well, loved each and every friend, you are in our hearts, and so we don’t need to do it to remember you. How much more blessed can a person be?
 
Civilians recognize you best as Madam Go-getter and to you many thanks for the many years of service protecting the interests of Ruguru. We can’t cry because you are gone; we are celebrating that you were here! When we miss you we know where to look for you, if we want to, in the evening sunset or with the earliest or among-st the flitting and fluttering butterflies. We know you’ll be there in one form or another. Anyone wearing black should not be admitted to your memorial.
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MUGAMBE???

ROBERT MUGAMBE- “UNCLE BOB”~THE OLD MAN SPITTING WISDOM!

  1. GOOD GOVERNANCE:

# Kenya without corruption it’s like Uganda without Museveni.

# When asked if he thought it was time to say goodbye to Zimbabweans. He asked, ‘Where are they going? Only God who appointed me will remove me. I will retire after Queen Elizabeth.”

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# On Africa Presidential Elections; The winner is the one announced and not the one elected. It doesn’t matter the number of votes you get; what matters is the person who counts those votes.

# We are no longer going to ask for the votes, we are going to get them without negotiating.

2. GAY MARRIAGE AND RELIGION

# On Gay Marriage; If you Obama want to legalize gay marriage and impose on us you should first come I marry him we serve as a good example. I better eat a dirty p***y than a clean anus”. While he was speaking tough to America in supporting gays.

# If your religion requires you to hate someone you need a new religion.

# God is the best inventor ever, he took a rib from a man and made a loud speaker!

# Sister-in -Christ You claim to be saved but only talk to men with cars. Are you baptized with petrol?

# Even if God call us to heaven today, some ladies will still ask, “Where did you get my number?”

3. RELATIONSHIPS

# The more you keep saying no to men the more time you will be in your father’s house.

# At the age of 25 you have a ring on your nose instead of your finger, Girl, are you a bull?

# You don’t fight an ugly Man; he has nothing to lose.

# The only time a woman is completely harmless is when her nail polish is yet to dry.

# If you take more than 30 selfies just to get the right one to post, chances are high that you are ugly.

# If she no-longer uploads pics, she’s pregnant.

# If your girlfriend/boyfriend hasn’t taken a picture with you before, stop forcing Photo Grid to bring you together.

# If you are ugly; you are ugly – stop talking about inner beauty because we don’t walk around with X-rays. If you’re ugly learn to dance or make love!

# No man is ugly or poor. It all depends on who he is being compared with.

# Sometimes you look back at the girls you spent money on rather than send to your mum ad you realize witchcraft is real!

# Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn’t.

# Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex.

 

# A child plays with his mother’s breast but cannot hold his father’s balls.

# Being brave is holding the balls of a lion. Courage is continuing to squeeze.

# Wait Until a mosquito lands on your balls. That’s when You will realize there is so many ways of resolving conflicts!

# We men are decent that even when a woman wears bikini, 90% of her body is exposed. We still look at the covered parts.

# Even men who can’t swim in lakes & seas prefer ladies with big butts. They indiscriminately like big things.

# You don’t have to walk around with a guitar to show us you are a musician even prostitutes don’t walk around with beds.

# Some women’s legs are like rumors; they just keep on spreading!

# Girls with beauty and no brains their private parts suffer the most.

# I prefer ladies for goal keepers because no matter how wide they open; they never allow the balls to go in!

# Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest and his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.

# Don’t be discouraged when a lady tells you that they are TAKEN, most of them are TAKEN for granted.

# If the one you love is not near you …love the one near you.

# It’s only a widow who knows the whereabouts of her husband.

# No matter the size of the p***s no woman runs and away from her husband when s** calls.

# Sucking breast is a skill guys learnt at birth. But where girls learnt the act of sucking d***s still bothers me.

# Girls are known to have grown up when they wear bras. Boys are known to have a grow up when they start to remove them.

# No matter how men shake their joystick after urinating, the last drop is always reserved for the boxers.

# Dear sisters, Don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s raining…. you are not an umbrella.

# Dear Sisters, if a guy can remove your bra with one hand, know that he’s been long in industry.

# You cannot have a baby in one month by making nine women pregnant.

# Your Bae could be someone’s side chic!

# One stick can herd 12 cows !

# When your girlfriend suddenly develops interest in rhumba, my friend, there is a sponsor.

# If a Guy tells you that he is different from other guys he is probably not circumcised.

# No matter how bad you are; you are not useless you can still be used as a “Bad Example”.

# There is nothing more confusing to a woman than breaking up with an ugly man who is extremely good in bed.

# Racism will never end so long as cars use black tires and black people use white tissue papers in toilets.

# Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a *girlfriend*

# Check your girlfriend’s body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.

# When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country. Mugabe

# In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. What will you take Honey? How are you gonna get drank in love when drinking water?

 

 

CBC KENYA

My friend Matime Georges is a jack of all trades and I will not mention many more guys I know who are not in their first profession which they trained for. Some are in the third, others in the second Dickens Ndikwe in sixth while many more are even attending some classes here and there. Education is an equalizer and a pathway to success and in deed Kenyan graduates are arguably some of the most versatile, inventive and innovative people in the world. They thrive and adapt in any circumstance, and in most fields of work.
The magic in the CBC is a child’s education journey is predetermined and premeditated. It will measure our children’s competence in Science before giving them an education in Science. Before even educating a child in logical subjects CBC has the capability of measuring a child’s aptitude in computer science etc. with options getting narrower and ending at form two. The outcome of the new education system is 16:4:2:1. This means for every 16 vocational kids, we have 4 technicians, 2 creatives and 1 academics no jack of all trades. They design it to produce the end products (read workers) – who are market fit for the private sector. It is a system for vocational training, for people WITHOUT secondary education and for the workplace.
We have graduate footballers and athletes but in CBC once a Teacher who also doubles as a family therapist “discovers” your child’s talent that’s it. Teachers with positive attitude to learn and prepare beforehand will use the same Thematic in EYE to decide what is good for your child and the only thing you will do is help in doing the homework in acting or football. Can’t wait to see how we are to creating new Kamarus and DeMathew for the future when the current 8-4-4 isn’t equipped with music teachers and instruments. Wanyama, Pogba, Messsi and Abumayeng (It is the 8-4-4 that stopped all of us from reaching these heights) when manufactured balls remains elusive and school playing grounds are still being grabbed and diminishing.
But there is no cause of alarm we have facilities, teachers, and volunteers for extra-curricular activities like track and field, fine arts, drama, photography, robotics and computing what we were missing is a neurosurgeon to implement CBC. We are good to go!uhutambichi

 

 

 

PAY TEACHERS.

When UHURU bought SODA from a KIOSK have you ever wondered why that Mere act Trended? If a teacher earns it improves lives of Kenyans. In fact what a teacher earns reaches the poor. May it be to their shops, your credit limit is extended if you are his customer, he uses the bodabodas, contributes more in village harambee and Funerals He will even employ more laborers, drinks more in the local pub which you visits once a year, he installs electricity and the poles pass on your farm – your mum can charge her phone to talk to you, he tops up the balance for that sick old grandma to buy medicine… When we’re you there last? Hope the 1Kg sugar you left still lasts, etc . A Teacher won’t relocate like the way Your age mate relocated after winning the village MCA’s seat!

The Teachers salary matter is being turned into a political contest. The government claims Unions working together with opposition. It cant pay coz there’s no money.. Poor people we cheer the government. We brand Teachers heartless, selfish monsters. Government scores in propaganda and who loses? Poor people, the voting machines. Those whose children go to those public schools polling stations. Majority of politicians in Kenya don’t take their children to public schools and I propose this to be the unwritten Wanjiku’s Vetting tool. How can you lead us on something you don’t believe in!
The National Government you are cheering which cant increase the Teachers salary by 1.7 billion to over 200k teachers commits to bail one company called KQ kshs60 billion after the management stole the billions. Poor people you support the government. Majority of these poor earthlings will never board a plane in their lifetime but if the Teachers are well motivated you would have increased your chances.
When will we ever open our eyes and slay this neo- colonialism dragon? The rich have at most 2 kids, the poor a dozen and votes. The political class counts you as votes! They will do all what they can to make sure you remain poor. Embezzle Health funds so you can attend their private clinics start Propaganda about Nurses and all class of workers whose improved welfare can trickle to the common Mwananchi. But the saddest thing… They always use you as a voter, as a CDF committee to stamp on their loot! You blind loyalty to cheer them and further their agendas. ‪#‎OpenYourEyes‬
… LET US WAKE OUR PEOPLE…

This is My view . Respect it,Correct it,Enrich it and Give me your View too.

LEGALLY RIGHT BUT ETHICALLY WRONG

In a rape case, the victim reports the perpetrator to a police station. After being booked one proceeds to a recognized hospital or The Government Doctor within 72 hours for forensic evidence to be collected. It’s highly advisable not to take a shower among other requirements. If there are any witnesses they are expected to swear under oath and the case proceeds. Many are thus wondering why the police cannot locate either a victim or the perpetrator and yet they spot a DL which expired yesterday a kilometer away.

No victim has surfaced and the one who has surfaced her OB is not even stamped! She is said to have reported after the 72 Hours and the evidence had been tampered with. How can the police now charge whomever? Being accused by The Media with evidence that the state is not aware of? Then those with the Media can oppress those who can’t afford. Did the Media orchestrate the evil? It’s wrong to take a video of a patient without his/her consent, fail to report to the Police and taking all that time for the Media looking for witnesses while may be more damage was taking place.

Setting up a camera in another person residence without his consent with an aim of capturing a moment without his consent too is a violation of his right. Again this can be interpreted as consensual to one party for whatsoever reasons. The video evidence admissible in a court of law should come from a CCTV or Video surveillance. CCTV is used to transmit signal /Video to a specific place on a limited number of monitors. They are required to operate under The Country or County laws. The Detectives are the only legal entity who can verify the authenticity and not a TV station for admissibility in a court of law.

Neither The Doctors, Nurses, Clinical Officer’s Boards can claim to have registered Mugo Wa Wairimu. The Prestige Clinics have valid license from The Licensing board too. They are registered under James Mugo Nduati. If the victim claims she was raped by the owner of Prestige at Prestige the Presiding Judge will end up setting Mugo Wa Wairimu free and order the police to go and look for James Mugo Nduati.

But did the  said woman feel raped? Third party judgment is not sufficient. In the Famous Movie, “50 Shades Of Gray” the lady had planned with the guy to be tied, whipped and the guy to do whatever he will feel like with her. To many this could look as rape too. We need to hear from the horse mouth. Otherwise since the Victim remains anonymous whoever would claim to be the lady in the clip and confesses she wasn’t being raped that’s her fetishism will make RMS cry all the way from the bank.

Having only one Medical Lawyer in Kenya, The twenty minutes clip will trying to explain to us a lot. I.e. How long it takes to sedate a patient before action starts and proof that’s the exact drugs swallowed, whether a sedated patient can manage to maintain Lithotomy (Legs apart, knees bent) position under anesthesia.

Now who is suing who, Medical Boards have disowned him, licensing bodies claims all licenses are valid. It remains only Mugo Wa Wairimu vrs RMS! Let me grab some popcorn as events unfold. We should hold prayer meeting like what guys did on Sunday for WSR.. Aren’t they facing rape allegations too? Or it’s a Personal challenge.